


supplication

by asiren (meliorismo)



Category: Dare Me (TV 2019)
Genre: Denial of Feelings, F/F, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23487673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meliorismo/pseuds/asiren
Summary: Summer, 2019. Addy was a believer.
Relationships: Beth Cassidy/Addy Hanlon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	supplication

**Author's Note:**

> my children. so fucked up

**supplication**

Do you know nothing? Do you see nothing? Do you remember nothing?

t. s. eliot

For the longest time, Addy just wanted to leave. It didn’t matter to where. It didn’t matter how. The only thing that she cared about was _away,_ even if not forward. She used to stop in front of the mirror every Monday, the beginning of a brand new week, and tell herself: This is it. This is time. It’s finally going to be _different._ During school term, when she was cheerleader all around, she would extend this routine to every coat of lipstick, every brush of foundation, every spark of glittery eyeshadow. This is it. This is time. 

It’s finally going to be different. 

She went on and on and _on_ like this _,_ even if nothing ever changed, because Addy was a believer. She was a lot of other things, too, but this was the core of her whole being: she believed, wholeheartedly, passionately, to the end of the Earth and back to Hell. And it blinded her. In the end, it really, really did.

“We should run away.” Beth said, between sips of kiwi vodka. It was something she was only able to find the next town over, because kiwi vodka was too cheap for Sutton Grove, but definitely wasn't for Laredo. It tasted okay. After four mouthfuls, Addy could say for sure that she had drank worse stuff. Beth had told her to imagine it was something more glamorous, maybe with an umbrella on the glass; maybe they were sipping it close by to a heated pool, in a tropical country with coconut water to be served at her beck and call. Beth liked to play pretend, and she also liked to play house. Which was, of course, just the same thing under two different names. The same endless goal, during those endless summer months. 

Addy went along for the ride. She liked to pretend too. 

“To where?” she asked, laughing. Beth was serious, so Addy giggled softly before stopping completely. 

“Away. You keep saying that’s what you wanna do. Then let’s go away.” 

“We have no money, Beth.” Addy told her, sighing. She was sticky because of the vodka that Beth had poured on her blouse earlier. She’d had to take it off; her bra was black and full of lace. There was also the heat in the air, even trapped on that basement with AC blasting at maximum capacity. She looked at Beth between her lashes, thinking about her cheekbones. She always did that when she wanted to stop thinking about other things. 

Beth had the most amazing bone structure. She was also naked from the waist up. 

“I have money.” she said, rolling her eyes. “It came together with the cheating dad and fakeass guilt, and got an upgrade when the news about the sister came along. Trust fund baby, that’s me.” 

“You know what I mean.” Addy told her, concentrating really hard on the taste of kiwi on the back of her throat. Her lips tasted vaguely like watermelon gloss, which was a flavor she didn’t really like for herself, but found okay on Beth. “We’re off to college in an year and a half, anyway.”

“Yeah.” Beth said, flatly. “College. What about that.”

“It’s not like _you_ want to stay here, either. Sutton Grove, Beth. Nothing ever, ever happens. Ever.” 

“It’s home.” Beth shrugged, and got of the bed. Her panty was pink. It looked weirdly innocent on her, and Addy blushed, looking away. Beth’s hair was getting longer than she usually wore it, and Addy felt a compulsion to _touch._ “I’m bored of kiwi. I guess I have passion fruit vodka somewhere.” 

“Is it a real flavor or are you making shit up?” 

“Why would I make up _passion fruit vodka._ Not that I’m above lying,” she smirked, “but I draw the line at the vulgarity of lying about artificial alcohol flavoring.” 

“We shouldn’t mix up drinks inside our bodies.” Addy said, vaguely, lazily rolling around on the bed so she was stomach down. “I read it somewhere.”

“It’s both vodka. What’s the difference?”

“Food colorant.”

“Exactly. Not alcohol.” she said-sang, disappearing up the stairs. Addy sighed and took off her bra, laying entirely naked there among the green pillowcases. Where were the pillows? She had no idea. They had gone missing one hour into her visit, which made it… Maybe two hours before her shirt disappeared from her body. She was stone sober then. Maybe she still was. 

There was stuff that she dealt better with when she was drunk. It was a coping mechanism. Miss Stuart, the school’s last counselor, went on and on about it all the time, between the rants of the dangers of eating disorders among cheerleaders and the importance of loving yourself. 

Of all these things, she only had control over one. She was proud of her eating habits. One hundred percent healthy, that was her. The rest of it, though. _No comments,_ she would say if she was a celebrity, trying to get to her building between the sea of paparazzis after a major scandal. _I have no comments at this time._

“What are you thinking about?” Beth asked her, slipping back on the bed. They had lost the blankets somewhere along the afternoon, too. Addy didn’t really care. The sheets were green, which was the best color against Beth naked belly. 

“Color theory.” she said, after a while, and Beth laughed. It was a sober laughter, but it wasn’t surprising — she never sounded or looked drunk when Addy was alone with her. It was because she was safe. There was no need to put on a show between the two of them; she was always, always safe with Addy, no matter what. 

Wasn’t she?

“I’m thinking.” Beth said, softly, putting a rebellious stray of hair behind Addy’s thrice pierced ear. 

“About what?” 

“My girl.” she smiled, sadly, and then laughed. “Always my girl, because I really like your fucking face!”

Addy giggled and leaned down, and down, and down. “I like your face too, you know. It’s the best face ever”, she said, to the expanse of skin that made Beth’s breast, and then she didn’t say anything else for a long time.


End file.
